St Andrews, as you may have realised, doesn’t have many claims to fame. It is not a buzzing metropolis to match London nor does it have a rival to the Edinburgh fringe. However, two things this little Scottish town is very proud of, and rightly so, are pubs and golf. For a small town, it really has rather a lot of pubs. And as a matter of fact, it has the oldest and probably the most famous golf course in the world. It is even where golf was invented. Yet, what happens when these two come together to make a new game?
Pub Golf is the answer. It may not be the most original and creative name, but that does not detract from its brilliance. In this guide, The Saint tells you what all the fuss is about and more importantly how to play it.
The most important rule of the game is to get drunk. Everything else is merely lubricating the process.
The way the game works is simple: you go from pub to pub and each venue represents a ‘hole’. At each ‘hole’ (read pub) there is a different drink which you have to down. Well, you don’t have to but you probably do if you want to win. Each drink has a ‘par’ which you don’t want to go over. Your score (how many over or under par you are) is kept over the course of nine, or if you have an exceptionally strong liver eighteen, ‘holes’ and whoever has the worse score at the end has some form of drinking punishment assigned to them. However, that is only if they are not drunk enough. If they are, well the original rule of the game has been adhered to. The winner achieves eternal glory.
As our favourite meerkat would say, “simples”. The only thing left to do is play. So here is The Saint’s recommended course designed for maximum inebriation.
|The Criterion||South Street||Guinness||3|
|The Rule||South Street||The Rule’s own lager||2|
|Drouthy Neighbours||South Street||Large glass of red wine||1|
|The Whey Pat||Bridge Street||Snake bite||3|
|The Blue Stane||Market Street||Belhaven Best||1|
|The Vic||Market Street||Vodka mixer||1|
|The Union||Market Street||Bottle of VK||1|
|Rascals||North Street||Somersby Cider||2|
|The Lizard||North Street||A drink of your choice||1|