Kate to return to St Andrews for master’s in Great Ideas


HRH Duchess of Cambridge, a recent mother, is returning to her alma mater to complete a master’s degree in Great Ideas. “I wanted my fellow students to be the first to know,” said the princess in a private phone call. “It seemed only right that I allow St Andrews to report in its own way, rather than going straight to the press.”

Her decision to study Great Ideas is one she has long been considering – having taken the semester-long course in St Andrews, she felt that she really learned about what made some ideas successful and others not. “A great idea is one that is not only inherently genius, but also that grows under the correct conditions. The idea of marrying into the British royal family may have seem far-fetched, but given the right circumstances it came to fruition. What at first was just a dream became a reality – other great ideas have travelled the same path.”

She aims to return to St Andrews and expand on her area of expertise. On calling Buckingham Palace for further information about this development I was informed that she “looks forward to returning to the place where she has been most happy”.

The Duchess is eager to show the value she places on education. She claims that “since having children, I have been reminded of the importance of knowledge. Becoming a princess was a great idea, but it is a greater idea still to pursue intelligence, integrity and morality.”

These inspiring words from our ‘queen to be’ come just in time to motivate students just before exams. She also wishes to remind students of the importance of long term goals. Her qualifications thus far have not enabled her to get a job, so she wishes to develop her skills in order to enhance her ability to make a living for herself.

Her majesty the Queen has not issued a statement yet, but we are informed that she approves of this decision. She endorses the Duchess for wishing to support herself, returning to the public and improving her ability to serve our grate nation. Needless to say, Prince William stands by his wife and will “continue to support her in all her endeavours”.

The Duchess is used to an active life, so returning to her university to complete an MA will add a new purpose and be a refreshing distraction from royal events.

We all eagerly anticipate the return of our princess!

April Fools!


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