Hello dragons. My name is Gabriel Ross and I find the art of feeding one-self, post-lash, an interesting proposition for many an inebriated individual. Waking up from a fateful, special-beverage-filled evening (or afternoon if you favour Pimm’s on the lawn) fills the pit of your stomach with fear and anxiety. The question on your mind is simple and resolute: what am I going to consume in order to satisfy my ethanol-infused self?
My idea: a sushi bar, in St Andrews. Indeed, it sounds completely ludicrous to suggest that eating at a sushi bar can cure a hangover. You will, however, be pleasantly surprised to find out that the delicious elixir that is “miso soup” – the Japanese soy bean broth – helps the liver process alcohol and, after drinking, replenishes lost nutrients. The soup contains vitamins B2, B12, E and enzymes that help calm the stomach and aid digestion.
To further this proposition, one must look at the competition. Non-existent. Tesco’s salmon maki is sub par and St Andrews has yet to be blessed with Chicken Katsu curry. The Katsu is as foreign to this neck of the woods as a bottle of Buckfast being drunk during a Wine and Cheese societal event… Or so the dream went.
In all honesty, though, it makes absolute sound business sense to open up a sushi-serving outlet, right here, in the Bubble. As an investor, you would be bombarded by a plethora of students, following their stomachs straight into the premises. Looking to throw as much business your way as possible, a sushi bar, in my opinion, would slowly creep into the consumption routine of many students.
After that, we would be so reliant on the stuff that it would become a way of life. As a student, on the flip side, what better a way to spend the Fund of Dad on wholesome, comforting (and relatively healthy) food. No more boring burgers or pointless pizza. A dash of excitement to our culinary journey in this town; an ounce of opulence to our needy, student-orientated taste buds.
So to Duncan Bannatyne I would say: for the sake of the inhabitants of St Andrews and the future of humanity, please accept my request of £20,000 for a 15% stake in my proposition. Let us rid those hangovers away from their human vessels, one stomach at a time.
What do you think of Gabriel’s idea? Let us know it the comments section below, and see if you agree with our panel of student and experts. If you have an idea for a business that you think would work in St Andrews, then email it to email@example.com and put it to the panel.