So, you’ve made it. All those years of hard work, all those books read, all those equations solved, all those essays written, all those brain-cells nurtured and it all comes down to this – your first week at University and the only thing to be done is to start your final stint in academia by getting so drunk that you send every buzzing brain cell into oblivion.
You’re going to be excited, you’re going to be nervous, and you’re going to want to run around in circles screaming while biting your nails. Don’t do that.
Here at The Saint, we thought we’d give you our comprehensive guide to all the major events and happenings that will be taking place throughout Freshers’ Week. We advise that you don’t miss out.
Saturday 8th – Welcome to the Bubble
The Union bar is rarely busier and the atmosphere rarely more amicable than on the first night of the year. It’s a great opportunity to make new friends but not such a good opportunity to get served at the bar. So make your way to Venue 1 where there’ll be a DJ set and some bubble cannons. St Andrews is a bubble; if you didn’t know that then now you do, and you’re going to hear it a lot over the next four years, and you’re going to hate yourself for saying it too.
One of us! One of us! Welcome to the bubble!
Sunday 9th – Clan Warfare
Now you’re one of us but for God’s sake, don’t be one of us. Be one of your hall-folk and wear your hall colours with pride for Clan Warfare. It’ll probably take you all day to find out what your hall colours are but once you know, slap on the war paint and march over to the Union where you’ll find a lot of other people in lots of other colours. That’s pretty much it. Go to the bar!
Monday 10th – WitTank
The comedy night has been the longstanding jewel in the crown for Freshers’ Week. At this point in the week you’ve probably blown half of your student loan on hangover cures and the only thing you’ve managed to grab a hold of after you lost your dignity is the dreaded Freshers’ flu. The only cure is to get your sorry self down to Venue 1 and catch WitTank perform their brilliant sketch comedy, still hot from their rounds at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe.
Tuesday 11th – Headphone Disco
Wednesday 12th – Rudimental
This foursome of producers, DJs and songwriters rose to prominence with their summer hit ‘Feel The Love’ featuring John Newman. Far from being one hit wonders, they have a solid repertoire of electronic dance based tunes which branch into genres as varying as house, dub, speed garage and soul. Check out ‘Spoons’ and ‘Speeding’ for a wee taster. A must for those inclined to pulsing beats and flashing lights.
Thursday 13th – Kissy Sell Out
Hailed as one of the leading figures in contemporary British dance, Kissy Sell Out is set to deliver his bold and eccentric beats to Venue 1. A veteran of the electro circuit who once held a position as one of Radio 1’s resident dance music gurus, Kissy will no doubt get your blood pumping again just in time for the weekend.
If that doesn’t take your fancy then head upstairs to Venue 2 where the people from Music Is Love will be doing their best to stomp and shout over anything that the Venue 1 sound system can produce. Giving them a helping hand will be none other than Three Blind Wolves and Washington Irving, two bands hailing from Glasgow who love nothing more than making a racket and making you dance. It’s an absolute peach of a line up with some of the best names in Scottish music.
Whether you don your neons or your flannels, be prepared for a stonking night of loud music and a pair of tired feet come home time.
Friday 14th – The Bop
A St Andrews’ institution. The only thing older than the University itself is the Friday night Bop – a shameless night of cheesy tunes and even cheesier chat-up lines. With a never changing playlist which must surely hold a claim to the worst (but also best) collection of music from the charts of today to the waste bins of yesteryear, the Bop is a spectacle of ironic dancing and boozy arm-over-shoulder group sing alongs. Love it or hate it, you’re going to go and you’re going to enjoy it. Or else. Besides, there’s seldom anything better to do on a Friday night.
Saturday 15th – Sin City
Sunday 16th – Tinchy Stryder
The big one! MOBO and Urban Music Award winning artist Tinchy Stryder will be finishing the proceedings with a performance in Venue 1 on Sunday. Finding his feet among the rise of fellow grime and hip-hop artists such as Dizzee Rascal and Wiley, Tinchy has grown to become a household name in his own right. Expect a medley of hits with a splashing of new material from Tinchy whose next single “Help Me” is due to be released later in September. What other way are you going spend your last night of Freshers’ week? Get a good night’s rest for the first day of classes? Yeah right.
Thursday 20th – The New Saint at the Old Course
Don’t hang up your glad rags just yet however. Let that Freshers spirit linger and enjoy one last hurrah at the Old Course Hotel as we relaunch St Andrews’ oldest and greatest student newspaper. The black-tie event will see performances from A capella sensation, The Other Guys and The Glitch, followed by a DJ until late, and all centred around the unveiling of The Saint’s spectacular new website. Reserve your ticket by emailing your name and matriculation number to firstname.lastname@example.org and see you there!